Thursday: Snow in Wales delayed starting out which luckily gave Picton Sports enough time to finnish the t shirts. The weather was a great taster for Scotland and it was a releif to finally get underway at 11am. Picked Gareth from Gwlad up in Newport without to much problem but the other Warriors debutant; Owain (Gwilym's brother) looked distinctly frozen after waiting about 6 hours in Manchester. The weather provided no real problems on the way up and the Grand Slam DVDs (the 05 and the Windsor Davies version) provided most of the entertainment. Got to Hawick, met Henry and checked in at the Elm House Hotel. Quick pint in bar and then out to the town. Find our hotel is in the prefect place - opposite the two main pubs and near a cash point. Louie picks the 1st pub - the Imperial. A stranger tells us to head tp Stampers instead cos it's got a quiz night, QUIZ NIGHT!!?? we are rugby Warriors from the Valleys, we don't want a quiz night, sensing our tastes may be more base he informs us that said quiz night will have plenty of woman at which we scoff. The Imperial is dead apart from some very drunk people one of whom was most unsociable, Stampers however had the most boucing quiz night ever with more music than questions and half of Glynneath RFC present. A quiet night was thus held, before finding that our hotel also had the benfit of a local kebab shop in the close vacinity, bargin.
Big Al and Nelly Parker with suitable hats
1st kangeroo Court
Off with Henry to Melrose RFC where we are met by Club President Viv and Scottish legend Keith Robertson who takes around the clubhouse. As well as visiting the 90 year old press room at the very top of the Club, we saw the Ned Haig room, devoted to the Club's invention of 7s and visited the 'long bar' with the various trophies and jerseys that reflect the history of the famous club. We also got a cup of tea, a Bill Mclaren video and some stories.
We watch Dai Ed and Roger run around the pitch (punishment from kangerroo Court) and pose for photos. Ground worryingly hard and our match looks in jepoardy.
free stuff from Melrose
Coffee boys Roger & Dai have a morning run around Melrose field
Move onto Jed Forest RFC where Jed (the man) serves out a delicious soup and corn beef hash (with a Scottish name). Ground is like a rock although Louie (who won't have to fall on it) reckons it is really really soft. The temp is -4C (5 less than Melrose). Disapointed we trapse off to the wollen mill at which the most interesting thing is the cold haggis they serve (NOT good!) and then head over to St. Boswells where New Tredegar are thumping Jed Thistle. Unfortunatley both teams seem to have a full compliment of players so next stop is the bar. Captain Richard 'non drinking' rule, already only patchily enforced is cast aside as we give up any hope of playing.
After the match we have more pipers piping, local musicians, presentations, Henry's variuos friends (Welsh and Scottish), kangeroo court, us singing, them singing, beer etc etc
a fantastic welcome and a lot of fun! Thanks to Henry's ability at a raffle Chris Bonar nearly wins 3 times instead of just once while Mal the Driver wins the auction for a signed photo of the Welsh team. We get treated to the Jed Forest song to finish and blydi good it is too (not as good as the Hawick's effort acording to Henry)
Back to Hawick, the Imperial (strange sing song) and Diesels the local night spot. Thankfully it doesn't live up to it's on line preview of 'drunk slappers dancing out of tune before the fighting' and er fun is had by all.
Saturday: Comedy items to breakfast which everyone makes by 8:30am!!!
Chris Bonar 'wheres yer troosers' - ready for the game
We pick up some extra Welsh support and head off to Edinburgh, it is ffycin' nobbling and we get straight into the Boars Head, which whilst not brilliant for atmosphere, is warm, dry and has plenty of room. The Warriorettes turn up and Louie delivers the Llanelli Star to Pauline which he has kept in prestine condition (for once) since Thursday morning.
After several glassess of beer we brave the elements for the long March to Murrayfield. Like a military disaster from the Victorian age (Charge of the light Brigade - sensible by comparison) we struggled along trying to keep stragglers with the main group, resist enemy movments and fight off the bitter cold. One poor casualty (no names mentioned) has managed to accidently wear the trousers od a 'significantly' larger tourist, with the result that it's a job to keep decent. Eventually, after several months, we sighted our destination and tickets were allocated. Only one member was AWOL and so officers mounted a rear guard action and using the phone politley encouraged said member to reestablish contact:
"WHERE THE ********* **** are you you ******* *******!!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!!...he's turned his phone off!!...BY A PARK ?!...THATS WHERE WE ARE!!! UNDER THE ******* BIG ******** SIGN MUN!!!" after several minutes of this gentle persuation, said Warriors strolled over and started to buy programmes at which point it was politley mentioned that the teams had taken the field and the game was likley to have commenced. At last we headed into the ground, took a couple of wrong turns, said helo to the Gladiator boys, strolling casually in, almost had a high speed collision with some Jocks going the other way and....got to the ground before the others!!!
Unfortuantley we were too early and the Welsh team hadn't turned up - and probaly won't for at least for another two years. If you want to theres a match report YMA
Highlight of the match: covering Henry with a Welsh flag and....er.....watching Henry join in with the 20 something chicks in front of us when Scotland scored over another magnificent, fantastic, stupenderous super duper penalty!!!
mocked a swarm of Jed Forest kids on the way out and on the bus home to Hawick - went out - Henry gave us a farewell song (No 35541) about the beautuful border country (Obviously written before they had visited South Wales mun) before he disapeared over to see his friends from Bridgend.
Over to Stampers/Imperial/Diesels for a quiet beer or two (Honest Mam) and bed to more or less end a successful tour of Scotland.
Sunday: Comedy items and hat to breakfast and a very smooth journey home (although unfortunatley Louie did get on the bus) stopping to throw Owain and Gareth off.
Tour awards:
Top Dancer: Huw Jenkins; stage, podium, solo, with chicks, movment, still, whatever -Huw did it!
Top Drinker: Neil Parker; slow n steady all trip much to Al's discomfort.
The What not to Wear Award: Chris Bonar (Runners up anyone in a Kilt, esp Jumpin' John and his chilli willy)
Spirit of Christmas award for generosity: LEWIS JONES!!! what is it about being on tour and Louie which makes him buy people beer.
The Chicktastic stud award: Huw again
The Scottish tourist award for most food eaten: Huw again again (and he was still ready for more)
Man of the Match: Alan Taylor
Richard Hapus award for happiness: Richard Hapus
Best hat: Alan Stephens
Best Comedy item: John Horwood's Gwilym costume
The Where the hell's the water boy award: Chris Bonar
Best Pwdi/strop: Jonny Kerr (how dare you celebrate my birthday!)
Best sidestep: Phil Williams - on the bench again (just)
STAR OF TOUR: Huw Jenkins
twelthseason